Out with the old and in with new, am I right? It still sounds trite but I prefer that over “new year, new me” because no matter what, I’m still me. Anyway, I’m back! It took me almost a year to come back, but I did it. I’m going to give this blogging thing one last try because honestly? I do enjoy it. Unfortunately, my life likes to make things difficult for me. After all, I even state in my profile that my life is one giant example of Murphy’s Law – what can go wrong, will.
2018 was one rough ride of a year. Honestly, the last almost 3 years have been extremely rough. But last year was one of the worst that I’ve had since 2008. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen me tweeting about some of it. In a really quick summary, I found out that my boyfriend had cheated on me and started a long distance relationship with this girl (and was lying to her about me), he moved out, I was harassed online for over 5 months, I lost 50 lbs in less than 5 months, I traveled a little, reunited with friends, saw family, saw a lawyer about the harassment, was the victim of an assault (once again), was granted a restraining order, lost my job, was failed by the police, fell into a deep depression and then started to crawl my way back out of the rut. Yeah, that was a lot. I won’t go into major details as I’m trying to move on, but it spun me for a loop. While I’m definitely doing better, I still deal with PTSD related anxiety and depression and am currently looking for work.
But! It wasn’t all bad. In between the bad days I also spent a lot of time with good friends, went to the state fair for the first time since moving to Washington in 2011, got to pie my coworkers and even my boss for charity, finally started my Project Life album and a photo album, re-decorated my office, got more work done on my Star Wars half sleeve tattoo, went to Seattle and enjoyed Pike’s Place Market and drank A LOT of coffee too.
Back in June, I flew to Las Vegas for a weekend primarily for a Nine Inch Nails concert (yes I’m THAT much of a fan and they were not coming to Washington) and since I was there I decided to go back to my old goth phase/style for the night and went all out on a makeover as can be seen above. I had a blast and managed to get pretty close to the stage and was able to get some fantastic photos! I stayed at The Palazzo at the Venetian (definitely recommend if you ever go) which I booked through Hotels.com and got a great deal (including some resort cash!)
I worked A LOT until I had to quit in September. In August I flew back to California to my hometown of Quartz Hill for my 20! year reunion. Holy shit, where has the time gone? I was hesitant to go at first but was glad that I did. It was an emotional trip for me as it was also the first time I had been to the desert since I left 10 years ago after my mom passed. So it was definitely intense but I had a great time. I spent the weekend there and was lucky since the Mojave Desert is usually around 108 or so in the summer. But the hottest it got was 102 and there was a steady breeze. Nights were still sultry in the 80’s so thankfully the reunion was mostly outdoors. While I was there I stopped by my family’s old house, the park I played soccer at, spent a few hours chatting with a friend who couldn’t make it to the reunion, stopped by my old alma mater but the reunion was definitely the highlight. It wasn’t an official reunion. My class created a facebook group and we had decided to have a reunion ourselves. Everyone chipped in and I think over 150 people showed. Not too bad for a quick get together! I saw friends I hadn’t seen in years, some I’d known since 5th grade. But I won’t lie. The highlight of the reunion was seeing my old high school crush, who is just as sweet and handsome as he was then. We danced, we drank, we laughed, we sweated and I mayyyy have finally gotten a kiss from my old crush. Shh! Before I left, I visited the desert hills where I had spread mom’s ashes before I left all those years ago and said a few words to her. Then it was back to Washington.
The shit hit the fan in September. I blocked my ex on everything and was granted a restraining order against his new girlfriend. Who now lives out here. Thankfully, I haven’t seen them since. I was assaulted, reported it and regretted it. The police treated me like I was lying, even insinuated that I was by telling me that filing a false report is a crime. Despite giving them details, as much proof as I could, etc., they chose to ignore me and have done nothing since or so I assume since I have not heard from them in almost 5 months. Because of the assault I had to step down from work. I went to therapy a lot and then went to California to visit family for a bit. I spent 9 days near San Francisco with my cousin, my uncle and his family. It was there that I was able to start healing because I wasn’t afraid of being followed anymore and new I wouldn’t run into my ex. (My ex did not assault me, nor did I, or will I, say he did. It’s a long story but it was all attached to the harassment as my attacker mentioned my ex’s girlfriend by name) I spent my time taking long walks, spending time with my cousin, sitting and reading at the local cafes trying new coffee. I started reading again. I started laughing again. I started cooking again. I started living again. I was sad to leave but new it would happen sooner or later. I was ready to pick up the pieces.
I spent the holidays with my best friend and her mom. I babysat my “honorary nephew” and watched holiday movies and played video games with him. I wrote in mu journal like a mad woman. I spent more time with friends, looked for jobs and played with my cats. I made a full Christmas meal, and took a crap ton of pictures. Life hasn’t been easy, but it’s getting better.
Things aren’t perfect. Not by a long shot. But I have continued reading after a small break around the holidays. In fact, I’m ahead of schedule for my Goodreads challenge. I started watching new shows (sooooooo happy that The Magicians season 4 is out! Is anyone else watching that?!) and I started writing again. Not just in a journal. With the exceptions of some panic attacks here and there (which I know is to be expected), things are generally looking up. However, I am completely thrilled that 2018 is over. Because goddamn, that year sucked!
I hope your 2018 was loads better and that this year brings you all sorts of happiness. What are you looking forward to most in 2019? Have you set any goals for the year? For me, 2019 is hopefully the year I go skydiving!